Feeling self indulgent?

Well, Christmas is now over and 2007 is nearly upon us. What do I have to show for the past year? Not a lot to be honest. Just getting drunk and making a tit of myself, saying stupid stuff to people I know and people I don't, flitting about from one crappy job to the next (oh God the STATE of my CV!!!!!). Running out of money.
I'm broke and lazy and nobody has replied to emails or text messages in two days.
Plus I don't feel very well, my back aches and my throat is sore.
A friend of mine asked me if I ever read the Myspace pages of people I fancied/really, really , really wanted to be friends with and checked out their other (female) friends - a great way to research the competition. Now, although I AM very much attached, I do have certain male friends who have been a little quiet/crap of late. So I took this great advice and I did it today. Several times in fact. And it's depressing, probably quite psychologically damaging too. Their friends are all either dirrrty peroxide grrrls or pretty little waifs who deliberately spell things wrong so as to appear cool and "arty". And they're all so bloody happy ALL OF THE TIME!!!!
How do you meet these happy-go-richie-luckies? I demand my own one.
Is nobody bitter or sarcastic or lonely any more? Surely it can't just be me?
WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE ANSWER A BLOODY EMAIL, I'M A GOIN' CRAZEE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks goodness I have such a grrrrrrrrrrrrreat song on my blog otherwise this could be depressing. Uplifting...... Oh yeah, almost forgot - I passed my MA.

Dressing up

Can't believe it is nearly Christmas and I have no suitable dresses for the festive season.
Today's task: Adorn an old black dress with a lacy top (which used to belong to my mother in the 70s) with some white satin ribbon so as to magically transform it into the kind of beautiful monochrome outfit Regina Spektor might be seen wearing in the 'Fidelity' video. Blue Peter eat your heart out!

Ipswich murder enquiry: Tom Stephens' Myspace

Ohhh.. yes, yet again The Guardian comes up with with thrilling and cutting edge news regarding the Suffolk murder enquiry:

"MySpace has admitted that it took down the profile of Tom Stephens, one of two men arrested in connection with the murder of five women in Ipswich, to "preserve" the information for police.
Users can delete their own MySpace profiles, but in the case of Mr Stephens the social networking website took the decision to block access to his page following his arrest.
"We have taken down the profile and preserved the data should it be useful for law enforcement in their investigation," said Hemanshu Nigam, chief security officer at MySpace. "

I'm not surprised given the self-evident importance and relevance to the murder enquiry of Tom Stephens' Myspace page which in the clear interests of the public, The Guardian chose to publish in its unedited, full glory on Monday.
The Guardian's comments of the Myspace page betray its importance at uncovering this calculated killer, helpfully informing readers:
"The grainy main photograph on the 37-year-old's profile on the top social networking website shows him smiling and wearing a fishing hat. He has eight people listed in his "friends space"."

As if this information in itself were not bad enough, the article continues with further damning evidence of Mr Stephens' guilt including a sinister predisposal towards lactose heavy desserts and possible transexual tendencies...

"Clicking on the photographs section reveals six images of Mr Stephens, including one in which he is holding up a can of custard and another in which he appears to be wearing eyeshadow.


Finally, as if this information had not already, if not made us feel that we are getting inside the mind of a tortured killer, then at least evoked sentiments of some unease, we are told that Mr Stephens has no respect for authority, "In the companies section, he says he is a "team leader" and has worked for Tesco "from 1997 until they sack me".
He also has a penchant for classical music, rather like Alex in a clockwork orange (Canon in D Major by Johan Pachenbel is the soundtrack to his profile page).

This is BORING and LAZY journalism at its best, telling nothing whist pretending to reveal everything. If it was meant to suggest that a brutal serial killer could have a Jekyll and Hyde existence, in which his online life seems normal and innocuous this piece may make some sense, but the tone of the article does not suggest this. Worryingly, it's almost comical in its apparent "objectivity". I'm not a sick person by the way, I am disgusted and horrified by the murders.
Laura Barton's follow up piece "How do you know who your 'friends' really are?" advises Myspace users to "Just say NO to strangers!" in a somewhat patronising and condescending manner which evokes the attitude of a neurotic mother of an eight year old boy who has just been allowed to walk to the bus stop on their own for the first time:-
"Generally I ignore anyone I don't actually know - a policy that has served me well, except in the case of the bodybuilder from Birmingham who sent me a follow-up email some weeks later, demanding in forcible capitals: "DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND? YES OR NO? ANSWER ME. I did not answer him. After all, I decided, that's hardly the way to speak to a friend."
Very sensible, Laura. You clearly have a sixth sense when it comes to character judgement. We should all follow your lead and EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.
AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iggy and the Stooges

www.yaquoi.com

All Tomorrows Parties

All Tomorrow’s Parties, ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’
Butlins, Minehead. Dec 9-11

The idea of hosting a music festival in a disused Butlins holiday camp is unsusual; the reality is downright bizarre. Despite spending the majority of the weekend running around all over the place with several people from Sheffield in a drunken stupor, I still actually managed to see quite a few bands. There’s a scene in Wet Hot American Summer where a group of camp counsellors go into town for the day, it’s all very nice at the beginning of the afternoon with ice creams and BBQs, but their day rapidly takes a turn for the worst and finishes with them fraternising with the homeless and jacking up on the floor of a shit ridden squat. This is a pretty good analogy for my experience of last weekend’s atp.

The journey started with “The Fear” because cheap Ebay tickets meant that we had no idea what the other people in our chalet were like, they could have been mentalists (we already knew they were Northern, and so was Jack the Ripper). As luck would have it they were all very sweet and hilariously funny too which was an added bonus.

More that 6,000 people were at the gig and frequent queues made the atmostphere a little strained at times with queues stretching all around the holiday camp. Unexpectedly popular bands such as The Melvins, Deerhoof, Dinosaw Jnr. and Gang of Four were forced to play a second set on to compensate for the fact that not everyone could get into the venue to see them.
The weekend’s line-up was curated by Sonic Youth’s ageless Thurston Moore and was largely mid-nineties US alt rock based, including Iggy and the Stooges, and of course, Sonic Youth. The colour of the wristband you were allocated determined which day you were allowed to see the two headline bands, Sonic Youth and Iggy & The Stooges, we had a fairly low key Friday and only saw stoner rock outfit Bardo Pond who were pretty predictable. Yawn. So we played on a couple of arcade machines and then it was back to the chalet for red wine and TV. Incidentally, there are two ATP channels programmed by the festival curators so if you get bored watching the bands there is always something else to keep you occupied, Garbage Pail Kids:The Movie turned out to be a great Saturday morning hangover cure.

Saturday was more eventful due to The Melvins and Deerhoof playing a second show. The Melvins started off a bit weakly but the double drumming towards the end of the set was amazing. Deerhoof were fantastic, energetic and fun. Haling from Oakland and San Francisco and with a Japanese singer they played beautiful music to make you smile and want to jump around like a crazy bean. Sugary sweet pop melodies with childlike lyrics about rabbits whilst bouncing around the stage are set against by crunching guitar parts. I love this band - they were so happy and catchy that they were one of the best bands of the festival. If Little Red Riding Hood were a musical, it would sound just like Deerhoof.

The big disappointment of the festival for me was probably the now uber trendy Gang of Four who played all the hits but really didn’t sound that great. The singer’s voice was too quiet and weak in the mix and the bands’ outfits were such a conscious homage to the 80s it was painful to watch four old men gurning around on stage pretending to shoot the crowd with guitars held like machine guns. Cheese-o-rama.

Sonic Youth, however were amazing. I just couldn’t believe how young they looked even after playing having been together for what must be more than 25 years. They played a real mix of old stuff, a few songs from Goo and Daydream Nation and some tracks from Rather Ripped. It was a polished and eclectic set which had so much energy and enthusiasm and charisma it was ridiculous. After the gig we caught up with two people from our chalet – Tom and Jo. Tom had decided to dress in Jo’s ripped New York Dolls T-shirt and skinny jeans and had apparently spent the duration of Sonic Youth screaming “YOU’RE RUBBISH” and “I MIGHT BE GAY!” to the delight of the people around him. Actually he fell asleep halfway through the set which was a pretty big achievement because, oh boy, they were loud. I bought a yellow T-shirt which cost 15 whole English pounds!

By the time Sunday rolled around we all pretty much felt like death having consumed an excessive amount of alcohol in the Irish bar and Jumpin’ Jacks. Anyway, we used it as a real day of rest and went to the museum of Bakelite (described on the flyer as “a dream come true” and thus, given the “Nightmare before Christmas” theme of the weekend it seemed pretty fitting). Actually it was quite interesting and very kitsch. Lots of brightly coloured cups and saucers, vacuum cleaners, cookers, bikes, even bakelite teeth! Upstairs was a museum of farming implements- sycthe's and pig ringers mainly, so that was an added bonus. On the way back we stumbled upon a Cider farm where we stopped for a refill, a cup of tea and a slice of cake before heading back to see The Stooges. Punk rock Sunday, eh?

Can’t even begin to describe Iggy and the Stooges. Other than to say he is THE BEST FRONTMAN I’VE EVER SEEN. Just amazingly gorgeous gyrating around to ‘Now I wanna be your dog’ and the ‘fun house’. Iggy bounced around arms flailing, jumping into the audience, inviting everyone up onto the stage to dance with him it was fantastic to watch. Probably the best gig I've ever been to.

Final night turned out to be messy fun after watching Be Your Own Pet. Drinking, dancing, drinking, drinking and then a great Crayola chalet party with a sweet little band where everyone was having a lovely time.

Music reviews

I recently stumbled upon some reviews I wrote a while ago about a few bands I saw play the Louie. At the time of writing I duly sent these off to Venue music ed. Julian Owen who seemed pretty keen...that is until he read my damning comments about The Transpersonals. Ha ha!!
Little did I know these guys are homies (not to be confused with homos), until I read later issues of Venue in which Julian extolled their virtues and talent - virtually non-existent the night I saw them. After describing the Transpersonals' bass player as a potential child molester, it was perhaps wishful thinking that I could win Julian over with my dazzling prose work, and so my career in music journalism was tragically over before it had even started.


The Great Admirers/The Rivals/The Transpersonals

THE LOUISIANA BRISTOL
(TUE 22 AUG)

An obsession with the likes of Julian Cope, Adam Ant, and Morrissey is the diving force behind the sweet and slightly self deprecating, Great Admirers. Although their brand of sub-Belle and Sebastian style indie pop is a little insipid and sometimes irritatingly saccharine, the band’s limitless energy and enthusiasm tends to detract from this. TGA are at their best with catchy tunes like ‘Hemmingway’ and ‘Keynsham’ which emphasise singer/songwriter Pat Reid’s brilliantly perceptive lyrical wit and his genuine love of 80s New Wave.

The Rivals drew the biggest crowd of the night, primarily comprising leather jacketed and greasy haired trendies. Clear, hauntingly melodic vocals layered over funk guitar parts and creeping bass lines, are interspersed with spine tingling refrains on the flute and clashing synth chords to a very pretty effect.

Ex. Strangelove vocalist, Patrick Duff, formed ‘psychedelic indie/alt’ band The Transpersonals following a voyage of self-discovery which apparently took him to South Africa where he experimented with hallucinogenic drugs and conversed with various mystics. This tired, Kula Shaker-esque, neo-spiritual aesthete is combined with a musical homage to the tinny innocence of 1960s bubblegum pop, which is well executed enough to almost convince me I’m listening to a Kinks covers band. Their musical style is polished, if intentionally derivative; however, the band’s image jars painfully with pretensions towards an emulation of the purity and naivety of the swinging 60s. Duff looks a freakish mess as he jumps around the stage with guitar slung high across his chest, sporting a mop top and tightly knotted shirt, and the creepy, roving eyed bassist is straight out of Capturing the Friedmans. Although their current sound (and look) may be misguided, the band are clearly competent musicians and the heavier, rock-out tracks at the end of the set reveal a spark of originality. Perhaps this is the new sound Duff has been searching for?

Apples of the ground of the sky: Herring

Since my last post, I have finished my fantastic but short-lived job at Sky and opted for a more lucrative and convenient position in tech. support for BT Broadband. It ain't thrilling stuff, and although I am passing my POL's with flying colours, when it comes to doing practical and useful stuff like configuring my laptop for a wireless connection,I am at a loss. God only knows why the network cannot assign an IP address to it, and how I should rectify this. It's bloomin' annoying.
If I can't actually help customers fix their IT problems when Iget to take their phone calls next week, I have at least met some interesting (and pretty offensive) people in the training group, and I'm having fun too.


Last night we went to see Richard Herring. He was funny but a combination of annoying hecklers and a surprisingly conservative audience seemed to throw him a bit and he said that he felt he had to cut out a lot of material he had planned to use for the show for fear of offending the audience. I felt this was a shame as he had some really funny ideas, but as he rightly said "Once you've covered the rape of the stigmata of Christ, where is there left to go?". Just wish I'd had the chance to find out!

Reach for the SKY

So I finally got that high flying media job I've been hankering after since I was a wee lass. In a call centre, sorry, a contact centre ( apparently customers don't like the term "call centre" as it's much less fluffy and friendly than "contact" therefore the original term is now obselete). I knew my Masters Degree would come in useful, and this job with all its advantages such as; a £5.90 hourly rate; half an hour lunch break; stressful coversations with "angry" and sometimes "raging" customers (recognising the differences between the two types is all important but I'll come to that in a bit); having to get up at six fourty five just to get to the office on time; and the fact that my first two days pay will be withheld until I've stayed there for five weeks, are factors highlighting the benefits of the level of success in the workplace a humanities graduate can hope to achieve after higher education. Boundless prospects and opportunities give way to disilusion, depression, poverty and acceptance. I've moved from a state of career denial into one of jaded acceptance regarding the kind of job I can hope to get, I've read that just recognising this is the most important FIRSY STEP so hopefully my bitter resignation has prevented the need for an intervention to be staged!

4 Hairy Buddhas

Went to see Andy, Stanton Delaplane, Dan and Dave play their second Hairy Buddhas night at the Landsdowne on Sunday and 'twas much fun. Very cosy, lots of pretty candles and slides courtesy of Andy's housemate James. Be good if they could get a regular acoustic night here as it's a nice little venue. More people there than last time too.
Yesterday I bought a ukulele for £15. Got to learn how to play it.

Warm Squash and Walnuts

Great little recipe courtesy of the Guardian's River Cottage Cookbook Supplement last week.
Easy peasy and pretty damn tasty too!

1. Cut a good sized squash into chunks.
2. Cover well with olive oil, and sprinkle with salt and pepper.
3. Pop in the oven at around 200C for about an hour or until the squash is roasted.
4. Add 100gms of walnuts to toast, after the squash has been in the oven for 45mins or so.
5. Line dishes with pre-prepared herb salad (the recipe suggests using a rocket salad but I found that coriander worked really well with the roast squash).
6. Cover salad with roast squash pieces and toasted walnuts, and enjoy!

Best to eat this ASAP as the squash doesn't hold the heat very well and it's consistency changes as it cools. But we found this so good that it really didn't last very long anyway.

Uncovered Meat, anyone?

Australian Islamic cleric Sheikh Taj Din al-Hilali made the following abhorrent comments at a Ramadan sermon and created a media storm yesterday which resulted in his suspension from religious duties for two to three months.

"If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in
the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come
and eat it ... whose fault is it, the cat’s or the uncovered meat? The uncovered
meat is the problem," he said in the sermon.
The cleric also spoke of womenwho "sway suggestively", wore make-up and dressed immodestly "and then you get a judge without mercy and (he) gives you 55 years".
"If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab, no problem would have occurred."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-2424864,00.html

It's pretty disgusting stuff and, given the force of the remarks I'm not convinced by claims the message could easily be misinterpreted. What is particularly worrying is that this tripe easily translates into the Patriarchal misogynist bullshit attitude ,that women are "asking for it" if they choose to wear say a short skirt. Hmm...sound familiar? Remind me what century we're living in again? I heard a man on the radio yesterday claiming that in a Democratic society "Freedom of Speech" should be alllowed. But we condemn incitement to religious hatred, and this is basically incitement to sexual hatred.

Feminists fought for the right to vote, to express opinions, and to have equal rights in the workplace. Although some gains have been made, evidently we still have a long way to go. It's that bloody 'Original Sin' which blocks our progress every time.

Nova Scotia gig and Milkteeth

We went to see Toby play at the Nova Scotia in Spike Island the day before yesterday and it turned out to be a kind of benefit gig for Leili from Milkteeth. We didn't know this before we got there but apparently she died from glandular fever/pneumonia about a month ago. Really sad.

Just handed my Dissertation in!!! :)

Eat my Humble, Christmas Pie!

Been staying at another B&B - 'Christmas Pie', named after a village in Surrey where the owners came from.
It's a lovely, friendly place with a HUGE breakfast menu, the likes of which I've never seen before.You get to choose options from British, American, Continental or Indian breakfasts and its pretty fantastic food.
Today, for example: chorizo and scrambled eggs on toast and Alex had eggs benedict and a tower of pancakes and maple syrup which neither of us could manage.
Plus little Lindt chocolates on the pillows and sparkly elephants along the skirting boards becuase we were in the 'Indian' room.


On the downside, the head of dept. wants me to cut out 1,500 words from my dissertation "just to be on the safe side". I have about 30mins to do this otherwise I'm gonna miss the train to Bristol and really can't afford any more catered sleeping options. Think I'm getting a stomach ulcer...

Rumination on the rain...

Back in Swampea whinging and moaning because of the rain, staying in a pretty dreary B+B in a last-ditch attempt at finishing my dissertation. Avoiding work as per usual - hence the blog entry.
Have had a pretty miserable couple of week's. Here are the editied highlights:-

A really annoying Asian toddler bawled on the train all the way from Newport to Swansea while his parents desperately to control his tantrums, alas to no avail; a nasty man shouted at me in an incomprehensible language after I took my umbrella into his shop, "There's WATER coming in!" he screamed (I think) whilst pushing me out of the door. Hardly surprising given that it was pissing down outside and I don't think a few drips from my umbrella would be any worse than the 1000s of drunkards on East Street trudging a load of mud through. I only wanted a bar of Dairy Milk, and it wasn't even for me, it was for my housemate. 3rd instance of rudeness was in Indian restaurant the day before yesterday where we were constantly harrassed with the sour faced waiters trying to nab our plates so they could keep their production line factory-restaurant running smoothly. And I was given a Starter I hadn't even ordered.

Clerks 2

Pointless from beginning to end.
Middle. Of. The. Road.

Crucify me

Call me cynical if you like but I'm tempted to think that Dominik Diamond didn't ever actually intend to get nailed to a cross by a bunch of Filipinos; it's a great title for a TV show because, after all, who wouldn't want to watch Dominik Diamond get crucified. But sadly, if it's not God's will, then who am I to suggest otherwise?

But I can't say I was entirely surprised when, after receiveing complete absolution from his priest, Diamond began to "question the relevance" of getting repeatedly whipped with a bamboo cane before being nailed to a cross. Diamond would have been only the second Western man to participate in the culturally important Karabrio ceremony, so maybe I'm kind of glad he didn't have the opportunity to completely exploit their cultural values for the sake of boosting the ratings of a crappy TV show.

It did remind me of two things:-
1) An article I once read in Kerrang a few years ago which suggested that Marilyn Manson had nailed a groupie to the wall before subjecting her to various horrific sexual practices (possible, but highly unlikely)

2) A brilliant Chris Morris sketch for Blue Jam (which for some reason wasn't used in the TV series) about a suicide columnist who documents the lead up to his eventual suicide in a regular newspaper column, only to reveal at the last minute at a dinner party full of literary critics who fawn over his "brilliant" and "tragic" writing, that - Ta Da! It was all a lie! He was never going to kill himself anyway. His critics are pretty pissed off about this.

Makes you think, eh?

Life, etc.

Wednesday already, although life as Little Miss Unemployed means that one day just blurs into another at the moment. I am wondering where my CELTA application and pre-interview task sheet has got to. Just how long does it take to get post from Barcelona for chrissakes? Am beginning to think it may well have either got lost in the post or have been nabbed by Dave's little bro who has been working at the Bristol postal service for a while now... Have also noticed bank statements keep arriving covered in sellotape - I figured that was just my mother who has a tendency to open letters "by mistake".

The day before yesterday I went to see the new Almodovar movie with Alex - Volver. It was kind of a feel good movie, very touching, very sweet and completely female driven. Given my notorious hatred of women and chick flicks I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this film (although you should perhaps bear in mind that I did actually cry during The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants). Penelope Cruz was really entertaining to watch, so I may just have to revise my previous opinions of her. She also had the BEST stylist.

Another benefit of seeing this movie was that I had the chance to see a trailer for another film that looks fucking awesome! It's called Brothers of the Head and is a "mock-rockumentary" about a pair of conjoined twins who form a punk rock band in the mid-seventies.
Check out this review:http://www.ericdsnider.com/movies/brothers-of-the-head/

My So-Called Life

Have been watching this a lot recently after discovering Laura has the complete DVD box set.

Oh, Jordan Catalano! Mmmm....

@Bristol

Here I am in trendy Southville. Living the slacker dream having done a total of 2 week's work in over a month.
It's pretty boring jobhunting, and to be honest I'm kind of going about it in a half-arsed fashion spending the days watching crappy cable tv and reading and boozing my nights away.
On the plus side (er...I think) I can't seem to leave the house without seeing someone from school or college. Very weird. I've also got to see some really good live music and movies at the Watershed. Money is running out at a rapid pace so getting a new job is now becoming a little more urgent...

I can't believe I haven't blogged since Christmas.

I really can't, before christmas actually.
Since then I've got a new job temping at a housing association, benefitting society by allocating homes to ex cons, reformed drug addicts, drop outs and pregnant teens. I get them off the streets and living next to your granmother - just remember to tell her to lock her doors at night! Ha ha!

Have been on several CD buying binges - guilty purchases include stuff by Gogol Bordello, Joni Mitchell, Scissor Sisters and Yeah Yeah Yeahs (I know, I'm pop as hell and it makes my teeth ache, and kind of reminds me of Juliette and the Licks so no wonder I got a ribbing from Maullo).

Recent gigs: Milkteeth, Dirrty Ray, Toby Wainright Johns at the Lock Up.
Mighty Boosh (CIA)

Events: Hanging out in the tattoo parlour with German wrestlers, drinking far too much and singing with a Ukranian accent.